today i have a review with my boss and i am scared. i had to take an anxiety pill last night to get some sleep and one this morning to just make it through. its sad that im getting the equivalent of dentist anxiety because i have to talk with my new boss for half an hour. liame is still not picking up my strange anxiety ridden behavior yet. i really need to start training him to do so.

today i went to the Epilepsy Advocate conference with liame and met Greg Grunberg from Heroes, Alias and Felicity. who knew 10 years ago while watching felicity with my college friends i would eventually be able to meet one of the cast members. anyway, enough fangirling, back to the conference.

in the last couple of weeks i have decided to expand my services to helping people train all types of service dogs. i heard greg was going to be there and that it would be an intro to epilepsy. not knowing much about epilepsy or seizures except from what i had seen on episodes of House, i decided to attend to educate myself on this condition so that i could help someone train their dog to detect them. i met a number of people at the conference who were interested in my services. it was so energizing to talk to people about dog training. i now know that i was put on this earth to help others with service dogs. and although it will never make me monetarily rich, it will make me spiritually rich, the type of rich i so desperately long for.

since i can remember, liame has been rushing people who approach my desk in anticipation of attention from them. since this type of attention seeking behavior is inappropriate for a service dog i have been extremely embarrassed by it. prior to a week or so ago, i would verbally reprimand him and tell him to go lay down. this would work for a few seconds but he would end up slowly creeping towards the person trying to get a whiff of their pants or shoes. although this sniffing behavior was not technically a greeting in human terms it was another inappropriate behavior - ie you cant have a service dog go sniffing some random stranger in the grocery store. seeing that this behavior had started to become a pattern (greet, retreat after reprimand, crawl back while i was talking) i had to come up with another solution. thank god i still have the crate because as you can see in my previous posts it has become a useful tool to get liame to stop doing inappropriate things. so as of today, when liame goes to greet a visitor in my cube he will immediately be placed into the crate. and since this behavior has two components, an attention seeking dog and a willing puppy loving person who bends over to pet him i have placed a sign on my computer asking people to refrain from petting him. i hate to do it but people have gotten lax in ignoring liame.

so that post i made about my work complaining that i was always sick, turns out there was something wrong with me… my nose was almost completely blocked.  the turbinates were so inflamed and my septum was so deviated that i only had about 15% capacity of my nose to breath out of, which for me meant that i wasnt ever breathing out of my nose.  which also meant that every drop of mucus that was made was staying up there and turning into a culture medium for bacteria and viruses.  that was why if i had even a hint of a stuffy nose, i would immediately get a sinus infection and then bronchitis.  so surgery was on the 10th and my nose is killing me.

and now, back to the normal puppy talk.. if you ever get surgery and you have a lab puppy in your household, make sure you have enough pain killers on hand to deal with the pain that comes with puppies accidentally bumping surgical areas.  its bound to happen and its going to feel like someone stuck a knife in you.  who knew a dog that looks so cute when sleeping could inflict so much damage?

today was my first official day assisting in a dog class. it was a lot of work but i really enjoyed it. my instructor asked if anyone wanted to lead a portion of the class and i kept my hand down. i dont think i will ever be teaching a public class unless its related to service dogs. im not a public speaking kind of girl.

speaking of public speaking my mother and i went to see bill cosby at benaroya hall on saturday. the place was completely sold out and packed from floor to ceiling with people. i had to take some anxiety medicine just to get into the auditorium and it still didnt prevent me from freaking out. if i would have had jasper there, he would have picked up on my anxiety immediately but liame didnt even seem to notice that i was in distress.

i wonder how old does liame have to be in order for life stop being all about him and instead start focusing on me a little. its like he is part of the “me” generation. if i have even a little tone of anger or frustration in my voice, jasper picks up on it immediately and starts displaying submissive body language and tries to diffuse the situation. but liame could care less if i scream at the top of my lungs. i think its because i have been training liame in a positive manner and he knows of no consequences that might occur if i get angry. jasper on the other hand was probably the victim of some type of violence by one of his previous owners to have learned what the negativity in my voice means. he is so traumatized by his past experiences that he wont even hardly let my husband tickle me without trying to get between us.

so mom, just so we are clear, liame wears that vest to serve me, not for anyone elses entertainment or pleasure and certainly not to be a substitute grandchild. service dogs are not supposed to eat food handed to them, not supposed to leave their companions side and are not supposed to greet people by jumping up and licking their faces.