Its Like He Is Part Of The “Me” Generation

Posted on November 6, 2008
Filed Under Class, Jasper | Leave a Comment

today was my first official day assisting in a dog class. it was a lot of work but i really enjoyed it. my instructor asked if anyone wanted to lead a portion of the class and i kept my hand down. i dont think i will ever be teaching a public class unless its related to service dogs. im not a public speaking kind of girl.

speaking of public speaking my mother and i went to see bill cosby at benaroya hall on saturday. the place was completely sold out and packed from floor to ceiling with people. i had to take some anxiety medicine just to get into the auditorium and it still didnt prevent me from freaking out. if i would have had jasper there, he would have picked up on my anxiety immediately but liame didnt even seem to notice that i was in distress.

i wonder how old does liame have to be in order for life stop being all about him and instead start focusing on me a little. its like he is part of the “me” generation. if i have even a little tone of anger or frustration in my voice, jasper picks up on it immediately and starts displaying submissive body language and tries to diffuse the situation. but liame could care less if i scream at the top of my lungs. i think its because i have been training liame in a positive manner and he knows of no consequences that might occur if i get angry. jasper on the other hand was probably the victim of some type of violence by one of his previous owners to have learned what the negativity in my voice means. he is so traumatized by his past experiences that he wont even hardly let my husband tickle me without trying to get between us.

Grandpuppy?!?

Posted on November 3, 2008
Filed Under Jasper, Mistakes, Service Dog Laws | Leave a Comment

my mother came into town this week and literally within 20 minutes started undoing some of the intensive training i have been doing for the last 10 months. the infractions that occurred within the first 20 minutes included:
- slipping him some deli meat while we were shopping in the grocery store
- calling him over to her
- granting people permission to pet him without checking with me first
she kept giving me excuses about how he was her grandchild and that she only had 2 weeks to spoil him. you would think that having had spent several weeks with jasper over the course of the last few years that she would know not to do this type of stuff while liames vest was on but for some reason it didnt seem to register with her. i wonder if her lapse in judgement came from the fact that liame is still very much a puppy.

so mom, just so we are clear, liame wears that vest to serve me, not for anyone elses entertainment or pleasure and certainly not to be a substitute grandchild. service dogs are not supposed to eat food handed to them, not supposed to leave their companions side and are not supposed to greet people by jumping up and licking their faces.

We Could Almost Get A New Car For That Monthly Payment!

Posted on October 20, 2008
Filed Under Care, Jasper, Mistakes | Leave a Comment

im going to be contacting the people who make one of jaspers medicine to see if they can give us a discount on it. just his meds for his congestive heart failure are going to cost us over $200 a month. i tried cutting down on the vetmedin (the one that costs 160 a month) but he went back into remission within 2 weeks. the $200 a month is what we needed in order to get a new car - that 1968 VW Bug aint cutting it anymore. after paying almost $4000 for liames surgery, we just cant afford too many more hits on our finances. my husband neil is facing a strike in less than a month and who knows when i will be canned after the round of firings last month and my recent encounter with the attendance policy police.

liame tried to eat a tack today. while i was checking in to get my lungs xrayed he pulled on a halloween sign that was hanging in front of a desk and the tack fell on the floor. i didnt know what was happening since i wasent paying attention until i heard a crunching sound. i said “liame drop!” and he spat out the tack. thank god. that would have cost us at least $3000 or so to fetch it out of him.

while at the doctors office i was approached by a WW2 veteran who asked about where liame would go after he got done training. i told him i am training him for me and that he would stay with me when he was done. he looked at me rather funny and then obviously looked me up and down trying to find out what was wrong with me. he then asked if he called him over to him would he come. i told him yes he would at this point in his training since he is only 9 months old but in a year or so he wouldnt. then all of a sudden liame sees a plant sitting in the corner of the office and takes a chomp out of one of the leaves. of course the office had to be completely packed with people. how embarrassing! i had to apologize to the receptionist and hand the evidence over to her - the same receptionist that at the beginning of my visit said he was so good that she didnt even realize that i had a dog with me.

I Still Love You My Floppy Eared Boyfriend!

Posted on October 1, 2008
Filed Under Care, Jasper, Mistakes, Things That Make Me Want To Cry | Leave a Comment

jasper peed on the floor again this morning. it was my fault for not taking him out immediately upon waking (i thought since he had already been out a couple hours earlier we would be OK for 20 minutes while i fed him - big mistake). he has been taking a diuretic for his congestive heart failure and its making him pee like a race horse. its like all of a sudden he cannot hold it anymore. i never see any pre potty rituals going on before these “water breaks” happen. he never went to the bathroom inside the house until they started giving him the meds for his heart problem. its so sad because i try to not make a big deal out of it but he seems so embarrassed (he goes as far away from me as he can, he hangs his head down low, wont look at me, submissively grins at me, etc). i know its not his fault but i dont think he knows that i know. i still love you jasper, no matter how many times you pee in my house, and dont you ever forget it my floppy eared boyfriend.

Jasper Is Famous

Posted on September 11, 2008
Filed Under Jasper, Service Dog Laws, Things That Make Me Smile | Leave a Comment

Jasper and I were featured on Evening Magazine a few years ago. Here is the link to the story if you want to view it.

Jaspers Story

I originally pitched the story idea to them as a “you should do a story on psychological service dogs” and told them I would give them info about it but I DID NOT want to be in it. After they convinced me to be a part of it I thought it would be about how these dogs are used to help people with psychological disabilities but it turned it into a girl saves dog, dog save girl story. But hey, its TV and I couldnt control the final product. BTW, I was diagnosed at 21, not 29 and am in NO way CURED of this disease.

Full Blown Shut Down, Stare Into Space, Drunken Body Movements Panic Attack

Posted on August 22, 2008
Filed Under Care, Firsts, Jasper, Mistakes, Mitigating Symptoms, Things That Make Me Want To Cry, Todays Mood | Leave a Comment

i had an anxiety attack at work yesterday. i dont have normal oh my god im going to die, my heart is going to explode, cinematic anxiety attacks, i have shut down zombie stare at the walls, absolute brain and body shutdown attacks. i had no medication available since i took it to go to the dentist on monday and forgot to refill my bag and liame was not trained to help me like jasper is. when i finally made it to the ground liame came over to me, tried to play with me for a couple of minutes and then decided he had other things to concentrate on. it took me a long time to come out of it enough to be able to just pack up my things and head home. liame practically dragged me out of the building, stumbling and bumbling all the way like some drunk trying to walk the line. ive had attacks at work before but thanks to medication and jasper i have never gone into a full blown shut down, stare into space, drunken body movements panic attack. it was weird that no one said anything to me while it was happening but i could tell that people were staring. i still cant help but be embarrassed by it.

Yet Another Blow

Posted on August 17, 2008
Filed Under Care, Jasper, Things That Make Me Want To Cry | 1 Comment

we were dealt another blow yesterday. jasper was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. for the last several months he has been panting without exertion. we thought it was the heat getting to him so we bought him an air conditioner so that he would be comfortable in the house during his retirement. a couple of nights ago, while the ac was running and it was a comfortable 72 degrees in the room, i saw jasper breathing fast while he was asleep. the same day, i noticed jasper coughing after he barked. having the semi quasi medical background that i do, i knew those symptoms meant that he probably had congestive heart failure and immediately made an appointment with the vet. his xrays confirmed that his heart was indeed enlarged and he had fluid in his lungs. the doctor said that if he didnt respond to the medication he had 3-6 months left but that if he does he could have 2 years. i really dont know how to feel right now.

Maybe He Will “Magically” Pick Up On My Mood

Posted on August 11, 2008
Filed Under Firsts, Jasper, Mistakes, Things That Make Me Want To Cry | Leave a Comment

i fear the dentist so much that i literally get sick the day before going to the dentist, the day of the appointment and the day after the appointment. i was tortured by my childhood dentist who would never believe me that one shot of novacane was never enough to dull the pain of the drill. normally i bring jasper with me even though i am medicated since he tends to provide a calming influence when i am panicked and can sit in the corner when i am not. i remember the last time i got a cleaning it started hurting a bit and i started to get nervous and hyperventilate. i had my headphones on and was trying not to go into full blown panic attack when the hygienist stopped what she was doing and tapped me on the shoulder and said, “your dog is acting funny”. i didnt have time to even respond to the comment because at that very moment jasper stuck his big old wet nose under my hand and forced it up in his way that says “pet me mommma”. i will never ever ever forget that moment for the rest of my life because he was never trained to respond to the type of panic attack i was having. i was having a heart racing, im going to die panic attack and he was trained to deal with the zombie panic attacks i normally have (where i dont freak out, i just shut down and stop functioning). although i didnt specifically train him for this type of panic attack, i think he was able to associate my normal pre panic attack behavior with this panic attack and respond in the manner he was trained to.

i took liame with me to the emergency dentist appointment i had today. i wish i could say that he did the same thing jasper did but he didnt. i went into full blown im going to die, crying like a small child panic attack mode and liame just sat in the corner doing nothing. liame did nothing because i havent trained him to do anything yet. most of the specialized training that i have to do with him cant really happen until he is a bit older. right now we are still working on dont eat everything you see on the sidewalk and dont jump up on people. according to the trainers i have spoken with at guide dogs, they dont start specialized training until around a year and a half old because they have to learn socialization and basic obedience in order to lay the foundation for the more advanced training requirements. in all honesty there was a little part of me that hoped that liame would somehow “magically” pick up on my panic attack without any training but obviously that was a foolish idea, these dogs really do need to be trained.

Dont Take Your Service Dog In Training To The Dog Park!

Posted on July 7, 2008
Filed Under Care, Firsts, Jasper, Mistakes, Tips and Tricks | Leave a Comment

i took liame and jasper to the dog park on friday. i made the tactical decision to go to westcrest insead of the unfenced doggie heaven known as marymoore since it was liames first time at a dog park and i wasent 100% positive he would return when called. normally i would not take liame to a dog park because he is training for service work but this was a exception to the rule because i had to make sure he got plenty of exercise and was calm for the night of the 4th. the ONLY reason why i felt it was OK for me to take him was that i am learning doggie body language through classes and reading, i knew what path to take him down so that his contact with other dogs was minimal and knew that the dog park would be relatively empty at the time i went.

if you are trying to train your dog to be a service dog, DO NOT TAKE YOUR DOG TO THE DOG PARK! unlike in a structured puppy play class there is no one there to supervise the interactions your dog has with others. you dont want to ruin your dog for the rest of his or her life by one single dog fight. i have heard of several different guide dogs being taken out of service because they got attacked by another dog at some point in their career and were now too afraid of other dogs to do their jobs properly. none of the guide dog/service dog schools allow you to take their puppys to dog parks for this exact reason. social interaction is crucial for a puppy, but unsupervised social interaction has the possibility of ruining your dog for the rest of its life. all of the problem dogs in the puppy classes i attended were dogs that went to doggie daycares and dog parks. no one wants to go to a dog park more than me but i cant risk my future for a couple of minutes of doggie playtime pleasure. to highlight this point even further, jasper almost got into a fight that day at the park.

The Grim Reality

Posted on July 5, 2008
Filed Under Jasper, Things That Make Me Want To Cry | Leave a Comment

this morning i woke up to the sound of jasper screaming in pain. i had no idea what was wrong with him. i started massaging all over his body to see if he had anything obvious going on but could find nothing. he was in no hurry to sit or lie down, something very unusual for him. so within about 15 minutes of the original howling session, we made an emergency appointment with the vet. they checked him over, he was showing no obvious signs of pain and declared that they had no idea what was wrong with him and to monitor him throughout the day to see if some other symptoms developed. he seemed rather groggy but that was nothing unusual since i had to give him a vallium to get him through the 4th. so instead of going to the store or gardening in the backyard i stayed around the house all day to monitor him. i told him on several occasions that he couldnt have anything wrong with him and he was not allowed to die. it seems to have worked. :) i hope i never ever ever have to hear him in pain like that again. unfortunately the entire episode highlighted the fact that at some point, he will no longer be here. i hope that day comes later rather than sooner because it is going to throw me in such a deep depression that i dont know if i will ever be able to come out of it. sometimes i think i love that dog more than i love myself.

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