Did I Miss A Developmental Window?

Posted on September 14, 2008
Filed Under Care, Class, Firsts, Major Steps, Tips and Tricks | Leave a Comment

liame went swimming today for the first time ever. in all honesty, i was really quite surprised and bummed by his lack of enthusiasm to get in the water. we were at magnuson park for our canine studies class and my instructor told me that it would be unusual for a lab puppy to just take to the water like a fish (or a lab) the first time in so… i tried to let it go. i want to have that all around stereotypical american lab that is a THE family dog, plays fetch until the cows come home and dives off of docks just to get into the water. maybe with repeated exposure he will eventually learn to enjoy it. i wonder if i missed the developmental window for a lab to love swimming?

One More Absence And You Could Be Terminated

Posted on August 26, 2008
Filed Under Care, Firsts, Mistakes, Mitigating Symptoms, Things That Make Me Want To Cry, Todays Mood | Leave a Comment

my boss sat me down yesterday and gave me a formal warning about my attendance. in all honesty, i was kind of expecting something to be said about it due to the fact that i am frequently sick. the thing that really surprised me was that this entire time i thought that making up the time by working late the next couple of days or working on a saturday negated the fact that i was absent because i was getting my work done. apparently i was in the wrong. they want someone who consistently shows up to work every day. at this point with my current health status i dont know if i can do that and am really worried about losing my job. depression and immunity are intertwined and unfortunately very unpredictable - thats why its called a disability. they have asked me to get with my doctor and come up with a plan to help with the anxiety attacks (i think because they finally witnessed the full blown one last week) and come up with a plan to try and improve my health. last september my doctor told me that i should go to a rheumatologist because my sedimentation rate was high and i had been getting sick over and over again. i sort of stuck my fingers in my ears and decided that i just didnt want to know anything more about anything that could be wrong with me. its enough to have 4 major health problems, i dont need another one. but now i guess i am forced to find out what is wrong and come up with a plan to start feeling better. in all honesty i was hoping that they would just understand that immunity in depressed people is f uped and try to accommodate me by flexing my schedule when i get sick. i thought thats what they were supposed to do but in all honesty i am now swimming in unknown territory. i will play by their rules right now and provide them with the doctors information they are requesting since they have been so accommodating in the past. im just hoping that in the mean time, that if the “you have one more unexplained absence and your terminated rule” is just a threat and wont become a reality. its not like i am playing hookie here people, i have been legitimately sick. im never 100% even several days after a sick day. when i come in after being sick most people dont even want to be around me because i look and sound so horrible and they dont want to catch anything. im worried and dont know what to do. i will be doing some research on this level of accommodation because right now i know that my only weapon at this point is knowledge. i will share the information i have gathered with you bloggers because i GUARANTEE you, if you have depression, you WILL run into this issue at some point with your employer too.

Full Blown Shut Down, Stare Into Space, Drunken Body Movements Panic Attack

Posted on August 22, 2008
Filed Under Care, Firsts, Jasper, Mistakes, Mitigating Symptoms, Things That Make Me Want To Cry, Todays Mood | Leave a Comment

i had an anxiety attack at work yesterday. i dont have normal oh my god im going to die, my heart is going to explode, cinematic anxiety attacks, i have shut down zombie stare at the walls, absolute brain and body shutdown attacks. i had no medication available since i took it to go to the dentist on monday and forgot to refill my bag and liame was not trained to help me like jasper is. when i finally made it to the ground liame came over to me, tried to play with me for a couple of minutes and then decided he had other things to concentrate on. it took me a long time to come out of it enough to be able to just pack up my things and head home. liame practically dragged me out of the building, stumbling and bumbling all the way like some drunk trying to walk the line. ive had attacks at work before but thanks to medication and jasper i have never gone into a full blown shut down, stare into space, drunken body movements panic attack. it was weird that no one said anything to me while it was happening but i could tell that people were staring. i still cant help but be embarrassed by it.

Pigeon = Treat

Posted on August 14, 2008
Filed Under Firsts, Mistakes, Tips and Tricks | Leave a Comment

we did all this training to desensitize liame to other dogs but entirely forgot to desensitize him to the pigeons in downtown seattle. these arent your normal everyday birds that wont even get within 25 feet of you when you are walking with a dog, nooooooo these are seattle pigeons, birds that dont, make that WONT, move until the very last second, which would have been fine if i would have trained him while he was a little puppy that pigeons = treats from mommy but i didnt. so now, every time we see a pigeon, liames pray drive kicks in and he ends up yanking me around downtown. i was hoping i wouldnt have to keep wearing my training belt anymore but now i can see we have a lot of pigeon counter conditioning and desensitization to do. pigeon = treat, pigeon = treat, pigeon = treat for the next several months. argh.

Maybe He Will “Magically” Pick Up On My Mood

Posted on August 11, 2008
Filed Under Firsts, Jasper, Mistakes, Things That Make Me Want To Cry | Leave a Comment

i fear the dentist so much that i literally get sick the day before going to the dentist, the day of the appointment and the day after the appointment. i was tortured by my childhood dentist who would never believe me that one shot of novacane was never enough to dull the pain of the drill. normally i bring jasper with me even though i am medicated since he tends to provide a calming influence when i am panicked and can sit in the corner when i am not. i remember the last time i got a cleaning it started hurting a bit and i started to get nervous and hyperventilate. i had my headphones on and was trying not to go into full blown panic attack when the hygienist stopped what she was doing and tapped me on the shoulder and said, “your dog is acting funny”. i didnt have time to even respond to the comment because at that very moment jasper stuck his big old wet nose under my hand and forced it up in his way that says “pet me mommma”. i will never ever ever forget that moment for the rest of my life because he was never trained to respond to the type of panic attack i was having. i was having a heart racing, im going to die panic attack and he was trained to deal with the zombie panic attacks i normally have (where i dont freak out, i just shut down and stop functioning). although i didnt specifically train him for this type of panic attack, i think he was able to associate my normal pre panic attack behavior with this panic attack and respond in the manner he was trained to.

i took liame with me to the emergency dentist appointment i had today. i wish i could say that he did the same thing jasper did but he didnt. i went into full blown im going to die, crying like a small child panic attack mode and liame just sat in the corner doing nothing. liame did nothing because i havent trained him to do anything yet. most of the specialized training that i have to do with him cant really happen until he is a bit older. right now we are still working on dont eat everything you see on the sidewalk and dont jump up on people. according to the trainers i have spoken with at guide dogs, they dont start specialized training until around a year and a half old because they have to learn socialization and basic obedience in order to lay the foundation for the more advanced training requirements. in all honesty there was a little part of me that hoped that liame would somehow “magically” pick up on my panic attack without any training but obviously that was a foolish idea, these dogs really do need to be trained.

Canine Studies Here We Come!

Posted on August 8, 2008
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yesterday we went to our first canine studies class. liame did fairly well when it came to sitting by my side and calming down for the 3 hour long class. the teacher and i were very pleasantly surprised by his behavior since the last time we were there i couldnt keep him still. im hoping that liame being calm wasnt a function of him being exhausted from me running him around downtown in an attempt to find a bus to get me up to capitol hill and rather knew that since he had his vest on, he had better settle down. we will find out next week wether it was exhaustion or association. although i was relatively nervous to be in my first real class since leaving college i think i did a pretty good job of controlling the anxiety (although it did require medication since i also had a major dentist appointment the next morning). i left class feeling rather confused about learning theory i am hungry for more information, which tells me that i have finally found my calling.

A More Confident Puppy

Posted on July 23, 2008
Filed Under Class, Firsts, Things That Make Me Smile, Todays Mood | Leave a Comment

we skipped the last canine good citizen class tonight due to the fact that i was really really really sick. he was supposed to take the cgc test today but heh, its not like he was going to pass it anyway - the little guy cant be alone without me for more than 30 seconds without freaking out. he did something very interesting today too. while i was in the bathroom at work someone knocked on the door and he sprang up into the air and started alert barking. i cant tell if he learned this behavior on his own or has learned it from jasper. alarm barking means that my baby is growing up and feeling more confident in himself. awe, theres part of me that wants him to stay the cute little fuzzy puppy he was, but then theres part of me that is so tired of pulling garbage out of his little puppy mouth.

This Is A Test, Only A Test

Posted on July 21, 2008
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we went out for lunch today and stopped off at a store where there were 2 company dogs. the owner was taking them out for their potty break and we encountered them inside the store. they were barking and pulling on their leashes trying to get to liame. i place liame in a sit and he watched as they walked around him barking and pulling and pulling and barking. it was an amazing site to see. after the owner brought them in and put them away she said that she felt embarrassed about how they acted. i told them not to worry about it and that it was a great training opportunity for liame. you cant expect perfection out of dogs that havent been properly socialized and worked on a continual and intense basis since puppyhood.

An Opportunity For Training

Posted on July 9, 2008
Filed Under Clubs And Organizations, Firsts, Major Steps, Mistakes, Tips and Tricks | Leave a Comment

photo taken at the citydog magazine party at the W hotel in seattle.  photo copyright citydog magazine 2008. 

i think i can safely say we are potty trained.  its been over 3 weeks since the last accident in the house.  the only reason he last incident happened anyway was that the poor guys bladder was so full he started dribbling on the floor.  i didnt think this day would ever arrive.

we went to the city dog magazine bday party this evening at the W hotel.  after initially taking off his vest so that he could mingle with the other dogs i came to the conclusion that this was a great opportunity for him to be around other dogs with his vest on and learn that he has to ignore them.  he did surprisingly well. however, since i need to proof this behavior i should really try to go to more places where he will be more likely to meet other dogs with his vest on.  currently we normally dont encountering dogs in our daily routine.  

an unfortunate issue we did have at the party was that the tables at the hotel were at shin height so liame decided that it was at perfect buffet table height.  oh boy was that embarrassing, thank god he is still wearing his “in training” patch.

i have been allowing liame to jump up and put his paws in my lap and lick my face while at home.  it didnt occur to me to train for this behavior because he offers it on his own all the time.  this behavior came in handy at the party when i got overwhelmed with all the people there.  although i dont think that liame was at all picking up on my mood, all on his own he put his front paws on my lap and try to lick me in the face, something he hasent done outside of my home before.  it was kind of nice to have him want to get my attention even when surrounded by food and other dogs.  i think i will mold this behavior into a service for him since it gets me out of the moment of what i might be experiencing (say for instance anxiety) and back into the real world.

Dont Take Your Service Dog In Training To The Dog Park!

Posted on July 7, 2008
Filed Under Care, Firsts, Jasper, Mistakes, Tips and Tricks | Leave a Comment

i took liame and jasper to the dog park on friday. i made the tactical decision to go to westcrest insead of the unfenced doggie heaven known as marymoore since it was liames first time at a dog park and i wasent 100% positive he would return when called. normally i would not take liame to a dog park because he is training for service work but this was a exception to the rule because i had to make sure he got plenty of exercise and was calm for the night of the 4th. the ONLY reason why i felt it was OK for me to take him was that i am learning doggie body language through classes and reading, i knew what path to take him down so that his contact with other dogs was minimal and knew that the dog park would be relatively empty at the time i went.

if you are trying to train your dog to be a service dog, DO NOT TAKE YOUR DOG TO THE DOG PARK! unlike in a structured puppy play class there is no one there to supervise the interactions your dog has with others. you dont want to ruin your dog for the rest of his or her life by one single dog fight. i have heard of several different guide dogs being taken out of service because they got attacked by another dog at some point in their career and were now too afraid of other dogs to do their jobs properly. none of the guide dog/service dog schools allow you to take their puppys to dog parks for this exact reason. social interaction is crucial for a puppy, but unsupervised social interaction has the possibility of ruining your dog for the rest of its life. all of the problem dogs in the puppy classes i attended were dogs that went to doggie daycares and dog parks. no one wants to go to a dog park more than me but i cant risk my future for a couple of minutes of doggie playtime pleasure. to highlight this point even further, jasper almost got into a fight that day at the park.

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