Meeting A Hero and Trying To Become A Real Life Hero Myself

Posted on December 6, 2008
Filed Under Care, Clubs And Organizations, Firsts, Major Steps, Things That Make Me Smile | Leave a Comment

today i went to the Epilepsy Advocate conference with liame and met Greg Grunberg from Heroes, Alias and Felicity. who knew 10 years ago while watching felicity with my college friends i would eventually be able to meet one of the cast members. anyway, enough fangirling, back to the conference.

in the last couple of weeks i have decided to expand my services to helping people train all types of service dogs. i heard greg was going to be there and that it would be an intro to epilepsy. not knowing much about epilepsy or seizures except from what i had seen on episodes of House, i decided to attend to educate myself on this condition so that i could help someone train their dog to detect them. i met a number of people at the conference who were interested in my services. it was so energizing to talk to people about dog training. i now know that i was put on this earth to help others with service dogs. and although it will never make me monetarily rich, it will make me spiritually rich, the type of rich i so desperately long for.

Which Hand?

Posted on November 25, 2008
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i think liame has finally learned a little bit of self restraint so today we tried to work on the “which hand?” command. first i told him to wait. then i let him sniff one hand and then the other. i then asked him “which hand” and he placed his paw on the hand with the treat. we did this another 30 or so times with a success rate of about 90 percent. yea!!! he and i have finally figured it out! the “which hand” command has nothing to do with service dog training, i just thought it would be a fun parlor trick to train him and show off to my friends (and possibly clients) how smart he is.

I Really Can Train Dogs

Posted on November 12, 2008
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last sunday the most amazing thing happened. i finally realized that i am a dog trainer. liame would play fetch at home really well but at the dog park he would come within about 5 feet of me and then conveniently drop the ball IN THE LAKE. argh!!!! after numerous failed attempts at calling him to me in this high distraction environment, i had an epiphany, i need to somehow communicate to him and motivate him to stop directly in front of me. so, the moment he got close to me, i turned around in the opposite direction and ran away from him. this turned a game of fetch into an even better game, chase. it worked like a charm. when i eventually stopped about 20 feet from the shore of he lake, liame caught up to me and dropped the ball. we repeated the game of fetch and chase until we both were exhausted. in all honesty, i dont think i have ever had so much fun at the dog park as i did on sunday.

24 Commands And Counting

Posted on October 28, 2008
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today we learned the command “open”. having mastered the commands “take it” and “tug” we chained them together to produce “open”. this is the first opportunity i have had to chain a command. i think i like it! i want him to be able to do the “get me a beer” party trick one day to show just how special he is. so far, these are the commands he knows:

sit
down
roll over
shake
high five
bow
turn around
back up
touch
go lay down
off
leave it
take it
drop
wait/stay
come
heel (well most of the time)
thats enough
open
focus
tug
get it
nope
no

Bowling Alley As Training Opportunity

Posted on October 26, 2008
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today we went bowling with the university of michigan alumni club. neil asked me to not make him go because he wasnt feeling good but i told him that i couldnt bowl without him since i needed someone to watch liame while i threw the ball. i was absolutely flabberghasted at liames behavior. he was friendly, wasnt afraid of the loud noises and (this is what was amazing to me) “stayed” as instructed while i went up to the lane, grabbed a ball and threw it down the lane. a retriever did not go after the ball, now thats a small miracle in and of itself. i guess those sessions i have been having in the parking lot with him working on his distance stays are paying off. the only real thing we had a problem with was liame stealing food wrappers off a table at his level. he has SUCH a problem with trying to eat everything in his line of sight. i need to figure out a way to be more proactive rather than reactive when it comes to this eating things off the ground, tables, chairs, etc. so as it turned out, i really didnt need neil after all. both neil and i wore our michigan shirts and as we arrived at the alley i realized that we had a u of m bandana from neils mom we could have put on liame. darn it, that would have made him an even more popular attraction at the bowling alley. i wish a few more drunk and stumbley people would have approached him, it would have turned this into one of the best training opportunities we have ever had.

The Day After

Posted on October 8, 2008
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i picked him up yesterday evening. the way that they shaved him for his surgery made him look like a poodle. he was bald from his shoulders all the way down to his dew claws! he didnt seem too overly exited to see me but when they told me of his morphine patch it kind of made sense. i was really surprised to see only a small bandage over his morphine patch and no casts. he was walking around fine and seemed no worse than when he came in. infact, he even pulled me down the stairs to try and go smell the grass outside the building. im so glad he is OK. i cant even tell you how worried i was that he wasnt going to wake up from the anesthesia.

in all honesty, i was hoping for the cheaper surgery option and hoping that he only had bony fragments in one elbow. but as it turned out, the doctor said he was a “classic” case, with the fragments being in both. no wonder why these guys charge so much - they actually gave me the vial of what they took out of his elbows as well as a cd with arthroscopic photos of the insides of his elbows and a mpg movie of the operation!

since he cant go up and down the stairs for 3 weeks and has to be confined to a small space (essentially a crate), i bought a cheap air mattress and am now sleeping in our office next to his crate. i didnt get much sleep last night because i had to make sure he didnt pull off his pain patch, bandages or stitches out. he was pretty good about not licking/itching things so i didnt have to put on the elizabethan collar they gave me.

Mary McNeight, CCS

Posted on September 29, 2008
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the boss I loved so dearly was just fired today. no one really knows why. this is not good news. i hope it wasnt for helping to accommodate me. i wish him the best of luck in this job market.

we passed our test! i am now Mary McNeight, CCS. actually if you want to get technical about it, im really Mary McNeight, BGS, CCS. isnt it interesting that i havent been crediting myself with my bachelors degree from the university of michigan but am marking my name now with a CCS, like somehow my bachelors degree isnt relevant anymore? anyway… i am tracking my hours training Liame (and Jasper) and I am over half way there to qualifying for CPDT. at least I have something to fall back upon if I was to get fired too.

Did I Miss A Developmental Window?

Posted on September 14, 2008
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liame went swimming today for the first time ever. in all honesty, i was really quite surprised and bummed by his lack of enthusiasm to get in the water. we were at magnuson park for our canine studies class and my instructor told me that it would be unusual for a lab puppy to just take to the water like a fish (or a lab) the first time in so… i tried to let it go. i want to have that all around stereotypical american lab that is a THE family dog, plays fetch until the cows come home and dives off of docks just to get into the water. maybe with repeated exposure he will eventually learn to enjoy it. i wonder if i missed the developmental window for a lab to love swimming?

One More Absence And You Could Be Terminated

Posted on August 26, 2008
Filed Under Care, Firsts, Mistakes, Mitigating Symptoms, Things That Make Me Want To Cry, Todays Mood | Leave a Comment

my boss sat me down yesterday and gave me a formal warning about my attendance. in all honesty, i was kind of expecting something to be said about it due to the fact that i am frequently sick. the thing that really surprised me was that this entire time i thought that making up the time by working late the next couple of days or working on a saturday negated the fact that i was absent because i was getting my work done. apparently i was in the wrong. they want someone who consistently shows up to work every day. at this point with my current health status i dont know if i can do that and am really worried about losing my job. depression and immunity are intertwined and unfortunately very unpredictable - thats why its called a disability. they have asked me to get with my doctor and come up with a plan to help with the anxiety attacks (i think because they finally witnessed the full blown one last week) and come up with a plan to try and improve my health. last september my doctor told me that i should go to a rheumatologist because my sedimentation rate was high and i had been getting sick over and over again. i sort of stuck my fingers in my ears and decided that i just didnt want to know anything more about anything that could be wrong with me. its enough to have 4 major health problems, i dont need another one. but now i guess i am forced to find out what is wrong and come up with a plan to start feeling better. in all honesty i was hoping that they would just understand that immunity in depressed people is f uped and try to accommodate me by flexing my schedule when i get sick. i thought thats what they were supposed to do but in all honesty i am now swimming in unknown territory. i will play by their rules right now and provide them with the doctors information they are requesting since they have been so accommodating in the past. im just hoping that in the mean time, that if the “you have one more unexplained absence and your terminated rule” is just a threat and wont become a reality. its not like i am playing hookie here people, i have been legitimately sick. im never 100% even several days after a sick day. when i come in after being sick most people dont even want to be around me because i look and sound so horrible and they dont want to catch anything. im worried and dont know what to do. i will be doing some research on this level of accommodation because right now i know that my only weapon at this point is knowledge. i will share the information i have gathered with you bloggers because i GUARANTEE you, if you have depression, you WILL run into this issue at some point with your employer too.

Full Blown Shut Down, Stare Into Space, Drunken Body Movements Panic Attack

Posted on August 22, 2008
Filed Under Care, Firsts, Jasper, Mistakes, Mitigating Symptoms, Things That Make Me Want To Cry, Todays Mood | Leave a Comment

i had an anxiety attack at work yesterday. i dont have normal oh my god im going to die, my heart is going to explode, cinematic anxiety attacks, i have shut down zombie stare at the walls, absolute brain and body shutdown attacks. i had no medication available since i took it to go to the dentist on monday and forgot to refill my bag and liame was not trained to help me like jasper is. when i finally made it to the ground liame came over to me, tried to play with me for a couple of minutes and then decided he had other things to concentrate on. it took me a long time to come out of it enough to be able to just pack up my things and head home. liame practically dragged me out of the building, stumbling and bumbling all the way like some drunk trying to walk the line. ive had attacks at work before but thanks to medication and jasper i have never gone into a full blown shut down, stare into space, drunken body movements panic attack. it was weird that no one said anything to me while it was happening but i could tell that people were staring. i still cant help but be embarrassed by it.

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