The Grim Reality
Posted on July 5, 2008
this morning i woke up to the sound of jasper screaming in pain. i had no idea what was wrong with him. i started massaging all over his body to see if he had anything obvious going on but could find nothing. he was in no hurry to sit or lie down, something very unusual for him. so within about 15 minutes of the original howling session, we made an emergency appointment with the vet. they checked him over, he was showing no obvious signs of pain and declared that they had no idea what was wrong with him and to monitor him throughout the day to see if some other symptoms developed. he seemed rather groggy but that was nothing unusual since i had to give him a vallium to get him through the 4th. so instead of going to the store or gardening in the backyard i stayed around the house all day to monitor him. i told him on several occasions that he couldnt have anything wrong with him and he was not allowed to die. it seems to have worked. 
i hope i never ever ever have to hear him in pain like that again. unfortunately the entire episode highlighted the fact that at some point, he will no longer be here. i hope that day comes later rather than sooner because it is going to throw me in such a deep depression that i dont know if i will ever be able to come out of it. sometimes i think i love that dog more than i love myself.
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